29th Oct., 2005

Started from 8th Oct., I work with Laura at the weekend. Laura is a writer, a filmmaker as well as a photographer…an artist with passion, a good heart and a creative soul…a forty-eight-year-old child who can always find green in blue. I enjoy working with her. I believe that every single being release and receive energy. This energy brings some people together and takes some people apart. For some people, you can even feel that you can be friends forever. I found this energy on Laura.

Got some shot of a girl from Jacksonville this Saturday. She is not a happy person. She came all the way from Florida to California because she wants to be famous. Well…she arrived at January but she still hasn’t got chance to do any theater work. She works as a part-time model now but it’s not enough for her to earn a living. God knows how expensive it is to stay in L.A. Plus I feel that she’s a very “Southern” person. It must be hard for her to stay around the L.A. people, especially the people who are also going to make it big. As she is very unhappy, she receives back the negative energy that she gave out. She said nobody want to shot her now. I feel sad…she can’t even give a “real” big smile in front of the camera. How many people dream of California and how many broken heart in California? She gives herself a deadline. January, if there’s still no good news; she’ll go back to Florida.

We talked a lot about Southern people Southern food. I am so glad that I could make her smile a little bit. She just kept calling me Tennessee…It’s not a nice name but if it can make her feel better, why not?

After finished the work, I went to Melrose Ave. Laura said phoned her when I wanted to leave so she could take me back. I didn’t because I didn’t want to bother her that much and I thought I’ll be ok. So I took the bus and then got off at Temple/ Rampart (later Laura told me that it’s a bad bad bad part) in order to change the bus. Then Laura phoned me and asked if I was ready. She got mad after she noticed that I left on my own. “Stay right there. Don’t even move!” she shouted.

The air in the car is unusually still…I started crying. I feel very bad. I don’t want Laura to misunderstand me. I regard her as my very best friend and that’s the reason why I want her to have enough time to take a rest. It’s Saturday…It’s Saturday finally. Also, I hate the feeling that I need to rely on others for almost everything…from what I eat to where I go…everything. For me, it’s a huge different. I like to be independence. At Hong Kong, I live at dorm. I decide what I eat on my own; I decide when I go out on my own, may be morning may be mid-night. I go to anywhere I want. 99% sure that public transportation can reach there anyway. I don’t need to worry about the safety. Hong Kong is too safe sometimes. What’s happened now…?

She parked the car and gave me a hug.